3. The Cool Girl’s Guide to Severance

Feb 10
6 min read

Updated: Mar 11

If there is one blog to read in the first days after getting let go, it is this one.

Part 1 and 2 were more about the emotional side: you are not alone, you are not done, and you will BE better. This one is about something more technical but oh-so-important: your severance package and the basic legal steps that protect you.

Think of this as putting on your own oxygen mask first.

I am not a lawyer, HR expert, or financial advisor. I am a woman in her 50s who got let go and is now building her next chapter, alongside you, with the help of the book All the Cool Girls Get Fired, good advisors, and a bit of hindsight. Use this as a guide to think clearly, then get professional advice for your specific situation.

Your severance, in three steps.

Step 1: Your Package Will Not Self-Destruct

One of the most important messages that lines up with the spirit of All the Cool Girls Get Fired is very simple.

Do not sign anything on the spot, and I would argue, not even in the next few days.

You have just had a bomb dropped in your lap. You are emotional, embarrassed, angry, or numb. That is the worst possible state to make important decisions.

Brown and O’Neill are right. Your severance package will not disappear if you do not sign right away. This is not Mission: Impossible. Your offer will not self-destruct in five seconds if you do not grab the pen.

Contrary to what the letter or HR may suggest, it will not disappear if you take a reasonable amount of time to review their offer. Even the deadline they mention is often negotiable.

Never forget that, for them, success is a quick, clean signature. The sooner you sign, the sooner it is off their desk and a ‘’win’. I would not go so far as to say they are trying to take advantage of your vulnerability and the circumstances, but let’s just say that they are not acting in your best interest. They are acting in THEIR company's best interest.

Most severance agreements include a date by which you must sign. You do not want to ignore that, but you also do not need to rush just because someone is sitting across from you, sliding a pen your way.

The goal here is to move from panic to information.

Step 2: Inside the Envelope: Your Severance, Translated

Once you have put the pen down, the next step is simply to understand what you are looking at.

Every company and country is different, but most severance packages are built from the same basic pieces. Before you worry about whether it is “fair” (that is more of a Step 4 question), it helps to know what is actually on the table.

Here are the usual suspects you may see inside the envelope:

Severance payThis is the headline number. It might be a lump sum or a series of payments over time. In most cases, it is based on your salary, age, and years of service. At our age and level, even small differences here can matter.
Unused vacation or paid time offMany employers pay out unused vacation days. Check how they are calculating this and for what period.
Bonus, commission, or incentivesLook closely at whether any earned but unpaid bonus or commission is included. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not, and the wording matters.
Benefits continuationThis can include health, dental, life insurance, or other benefits for a set period after your last day. Make sure you understand how long coverage lasts and what is included.
Retirement and investmentsThere may be information about your pension, RRSP or 401(k) match, stock options, or equity. You do not have to decode it all today, but note anything that affects your long-term savings. For women 50 and over, this section can be as important as the cash.
Outplacement or “career transition” supportSome packages include coaching, résumé help, or job search services through an external firm. You get to decide whether that feels useful to you.
Confidentiality and non-disparagementThis is the part where they ask you not to share details of the agreement or speak poorly about the company. There may also be wording about what they will say about you if someone calls for a reference.
Non-compete or non-solicitation clausesThese sections can limit where you work next or which clients you can contact. You should not ignore them, even if you are not sure yet what you want to do next.
General release of claims
Usually, this is the trade. You receive the severance they are offering, and in return, you agree not to pursue legal claims against the company related to your employment or termination.

You do not have to become an expert overnight. For now, your job is simply to:

Read everything slowly and calmly.
Highlight or underline anything you do not fully understand.
Make a list of questions for HR, a lawyer, or a trusted advisor.

That is it. No decisions yet. No negotiations yet. Just turning “mysterious legal packet” into “a list of things I understand and a list of things I need help with.”

Step 3: Better Call Saul (Consulting With A Lawyer)

This is the point where you call in backup.

You need to talk to an employment lawyer before getting back to HR. Brown and O’Neill did, and I did too (more on this in a future blog). According to the book, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is giving your ex-employer a sense of where you stand before the negotiation even begins.

For now, think of yourself at the poker table (or the mahjong table in my case). You are allowed to sit quietly, hold your cards close, and get advice from someone who knows the rules before you show your hand.

This is very much in the spirit of All the Cool Girls Get Fired: stop assuming the company automatically got it right and start acting like your own advocate. Especially for women 50 and over, a short consult can make a very big difference.

At this point, you are not choosing between “take the package and move on” or “take them to court.” You are simply getting informed. Many employment lawyers offer a flat fee to review a severance package. It is an investment in your peace of mind, especially if:

You have been with the company for many years.
You were in a senior or leadership role.
Your package feels “light” compared to your tenure and level.
You suspect ageism played a role.
The agreement includes strong non-compete or non-solicitation clauses.
Something in the language makes your stomach drop, even if you cannot say why.

A good employment lawyer can:

Tell you how your package compares to what is typical where you live.
Explain the legal language in normal words.
Flag parts that are more important than they look.
Help you decide whether it is worth trying to negotiate, and how.

You still get to choose whether you push, gently ask, or simply sign. The point is that you are making a decision from a place of knowledge, not fear.

“I just want to move on” And Other Fears

Three very normal thoughts at this stage:

“I just want to forget this chapter and move on with my life.”
“I do not want to burn bridges.”
“Lawyers are expensive.”

All valid. Here is how I would invite you to look at them:

You will move on, but right now is when you show up as the woman who understands her own value.
You can be both gracious and firm. You can say “thank you” and also say “I have a few questions.”
A focused, one-time consultation may cost money, but it can protect thousands of dollars and months of your time. You are not paying for drama. You are paying for clarity.

How To Prepare Before You Call

If you do decide to consult a lawyer, a little preparation helps you get the most from that time.

Have ready:

Your full severance package and any related emails or letters.
Your start date, end date, job title, and rough compensation history.
A list of what you earned: base salary, bonus, commission, stock, benefits.
Any performance reviews or awards that matter to you.
A written list of your questions and concerns.

You do not need a perfect spreadsheet. You just need a clear picture of who you are, how long you were there, and what you have been offered.

When you reach out, you can keep it very simple:

“I was recently let go after [X] years in a [your role] position. I have received a severance package and would like a short paid consultation to understand whether it is in line with what is typical, and to clarify a few clauses.”

The company has people whose job is to protect its interests: HR, internal legal, outside counsel.

You owe it to yourself to have someone in your corner too.

You are not picking a fight. You are not being “ungrateful.” You are simply making sure that you are not sleepwalking through one of the most important financial and professional moments of your life.

If all you can do today is: